TraumaCity

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

Good Afternoon, Ladies and Gentleman. Thank you for flying trauma air. We are currently cruising at a low altitude over the burning devastation formerly known as Long Beach. To your right you'll notice Boeing Land, the bedroom community named after the military sponsored aircraft manufacturing facility that employs a good number of our fine citizens. To your left you'll notice the infamous LB ghetto from which sprung the likes of Snoop Dogg, Sublime, TSOL, and other nefarious characters of culture. Behind us is the East Village Arts District which his now enjoying a lovely urban renewal period after the hard work and hardship suffered by the truly brave and artistic since the early '70's. Our lovely Mayor, Bev, has sold this section of the city to tourism. You'll notice the Aquarium of the Pacific, the Queen Mary wasteland, Rainbow Harbor, the Convention Center, and Shoreline Village. Please pretend to not notice the cruise ship that's stranded in the harbor since the cruise line went bankrupt. Please also pretend that our Bush islands have been concealed by the decorative masks we put on them in the '60's to hide the massive oil wells. Thank you for flying trauma air, dedicated to getting you there, one way or another. Please fasten your seat belts, hug your loved ones, and say your prayers as we crash this mofo right into our municipal airport that has been leveraged by JetBlue. Long Beach, the city that kicks your ass, then puts a nice bandage on it.

Mr Steve
Free The WM3
The Crew

brought to you by The Shadow * 3:50 PM

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Monday, January 05, 2004

Britney Spears got married. Was it to one of her back-up dancers? Who gives a black shit? That's all anyone was talking about today. Even though Spirit is sending back supposed first ever pics of Mars, all anyone can talk about is what some slutpop singer is doing with her so-called life. What was that? Mean-spirited, cranky old man? Thank you. I wear that label as a badge of honor. A friend of ours just called from Chicago. He said his balls had frozen to his leg because he went outside with baggy jeans on and wasn't wearing any thermal underwear. True story. He had to go to an urgent care where they treated him for frostbite of his balls and told him to check in with his doctor in about a month for a sperm count. He was fondled, I mean treated, by a beautiful, flirtatious nurse. When he gets back, his girlfriend's probably gonna feel all sorry for him, and give him a massage or two, and that'll be great until we tell about the hottie nurse he tried to hook up with. Why would we tell? Because he'd tell on us. It's coming on a full moon. We've had two people in today with MPD. Personally, I don't subscribe to the Multiple Personality Theory. Katrin has some very interesting theories about "walk-ins" which have something to do with MPD and alien abductions and a plethora of other X-files crap we will not talk about here. Our blogmeister made a webpage for Damien's letter. What else happened? Oh, yeah. One of us got fired. Then our supervisor had a change of mind, no heart involved. Apparently you can't fire someone for doing their job, no matter who gets offended. Even if it's a VIP.

Stay true, whatever that means.
Ben
Free The WM3
The Crew

brought to you by The Shadow * 7:42 PM

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